106. The Anti-Goal Goal-Setting Strategy: 3 Tweaks That Change Everything
Episode 106
So many people set goals totally wrong. They focus on outcomes they can't control, ignore their real schedules and life constraints, and wait for January 1st like it's some magical starting point... and then they wonder why they quit by their New Year’s resolutions by February.
In this episode, I reveal a different approach: the anti-goal goal-setting strategy. This isn't about avoiding goals altogether (obviously we need goals). Instead, it's about setting them in a way that’s realistic and attainable.
I'm breaking down the three biggest mistakes people make when setting goals (whether it's New Year's resolutions or any other time of year) and giving you the specific solutions for each one. These aren't just woo-woo mindset ideas… they're practical strategies you can apply immediately to any goal you're working toward.
What You Learn:
The critical flaw in outcome-based goals and why effort matters more
The real reason your goals fail (hint: it's not lack of willpower)
How to align your goals with your actual life, not an idealized version
Why certain dates feel magical (and why they're not)
When timing truly matters for a goal versus when it's just an excuse
How outcome-only measurement creates burnout and what to do instead
🔗 Resources + Episodes Mentioned
⭐SchoolHabits University: (SchoolHabitsUniversity.com)
⭐The College Note-Taking Power System (CollegeNoteTakingSystem.com)
⭐Assignment Management Power System (AssignmentManagementSystem.com)
Episode 54: The Secret Ingredient Behind Every Accomplishment Ever
Episode 47: How to REALLY Change a Habit
Episode 76: Using Your Calendar Effectively
Episode 95: Time Estimation Tips (especially for ADHD)
❤️ Connect:
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The following transcript was autogenerated and may contain some interesting and silly errors. But in the name of efficiency and productivity, I choose not to spend my time fixing them 😉
106. The Anti-Goal Goal-Setting Strategy: 3 Tweaks That Change Everything
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[00:00:00] So we're coming up on the new year, which means that everyone and their mother is about to start making resolutions. I don't know about you, but my Instagram feed is absolutely full of that new year, new you marketing messaging, and it's actually making me laugh. I used to fall for that nonsense, but as you'll see today, I have a different perspective on all of that.
Now. A lot of people are setting goals wrong. And I'm not saying that from a place of I know everything about everything, right, but I'm, I'm only speaking from my personal and professional experience. That's my platform always. But like the new year, new You marketing encourages you to do, a lot of people are inclined to set huge goals on January one. Dramatic goals, the kind that sound really, really good when you declare them on January 1st, but then they completely die by February.
My plan in this episode is to show you a different way of using what I call the Anti-Goal goal setting strategy. In this episode, I'm breaking [00:01:00] down the three biggest mistakes that people make when they set goals, whether it's New Year's resolutions or any other time of year, and more importantly, what to do instead. The problem itself isn't goal setting. Like goals are amazing, right? We should all have some, and I hope that you do. I do. The problem is how we're going about it all. So if you are tired of setting goals that fizzle out or you want to for once, make progress this year without the drama and disappointment.
Stick with me.
Hello and welcome to episode 106 of the Learn and Work Smarter podcast. I'm Katie. We have a good show today. [00:02:00] It's airing at the very end of December, just in time for New Year's, which of course is the time of year when most people are setting resolutions and you know, hoping for some kind of change.
But as I said at the beginning of this episode, I'm hoping that I can shift the way that you think about goals. Before you set any yourself this year, I'm gonna be referencing some other episodes and resources in this episode today. As a way to expand the conversation that we're having. 'cause I can't fit everything all into, you know, around half an hour.
So you can find all of those links in the show notes at Learnandworksmarter.com/podcast/106. Or if you're watching this on YouTube, you can find everything in the description box. And speaking of YouTube. If you're over there and you haven't subscribed yet, I would love for you to do so. 'cause that helps me know that I'm reaching the right people.
And if you're not connected with me over on Instagram, you can find me at school habits. Okay? Lots to cover. So let's begin with what I mean by the anti goal, goal setting strategy as I so provocatively named this episode. Guys, I [00:03:00] put a lot of thought into my episode titles alright. Though, it's not that I'm against goals, I already said that. I happen to set them all the time.
I have a whole section in my planner called goals. Like I custom made dividers in my personal planner and one of them is goals. So I'm clearly not against goals, but I set them differently than a lot of people do. And I think that difference is what makes them work most of the time. Do I meet all my goals?
No, I definitely don't. But I'm gonna walk you through three massive mistakes that people make when setting goals, mistakes that pretty much guarantee you're gonna quit within a few weeks max. So no shame if you set goals this way. We've all been taught to do it like this. I spent years doing it like this, but hopefully at the end of the show you are gonna be able to see, I'd say, the flaws in that system.
And then of course, like I said, I'm gonna hopefully reveal to you what to do instead.
And also keep in mind these aren't just New Year's resolution problems. Obviously this is airing in the end of December 'cause I'm thinking about New Year's and that's what inspired the episode. But these are mistakes that people make any time that they [00:04:00] try to change something or work towards something new at absolutely any time of year in any context.
Okay. And a fair warning, some of this might go against everything that you've ever heard about goal setting, but if what you've been doing hasn't been working, maybe it's time to try something different. That's most definitely a key theme of every episode on this show. Alright, let's start with mistake number one.
And that is that you're focusing on outcomes instead of effort. I'm gonna explain this as you know, as deeply as I can, but let's start with some examples of outcome-based goals. These are the ones that we are used to setting, but they do not work. Alright? So an example is lose 20 pounds, get a 4.0 this semester, get promoted at work, save $10,000. Get into your dream college, get an A in physics. These all sound like really good goals, right? They are specific, they're measurable, they're actionable. They might even be realistic and time bound if you set a deadline. You might [00:05:00] recognize that as the smart goal framework.
I'm not bashing the smart goal framework. It can absolutely be great for sure. In fact, I think that we should use the smart goal framework when making goals. But in case you're new to that, the SMART S-M-A-R-T stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. Okay. Like it's an acronym, but outcome-based goals have a critical problem.
They don't tell you what to do. They tell you what you want to have happen, what you want the final result to be like, but not what action that you need to take to make that happen. And without action, nothing happens. I talked about this back in episode 54, which is the secret ingredient behind every accomplishment ever, and it's action, right?
Action is the closest thing we have to magic. You can want a 4.0 all you want. You can write, lose 20 pounds on a vision board, right? And, and manifest it for, you know, an hour a day. You can talk about getting promoted at work, but if you don't actually [00:06:00] do something, if there's no solid and consistent effort nearly every day behind it, it's just wishing.
It's emotional drama and a lot of talk with nothing to back it up, guys. I mean, this is tough love, right? But said with love. Okay, focus on the love part. The danger of an outcome-based goal is that it makes you feel productive just by declaring it, but declaring a goal is not the same as doing something to make it happen.
And plus, even when you do put in the effort, we'll talk about this later, outcomes aren't entirely in your control. You could study hard all semester and still get a B because the professor, I don't know, maybe curved the class really harshly. You can do excellent work and still not get promoted because of budget cuts.
You can apply to your dream school with a strong application and still not get in because of all the other wild admission factors that we don't see behind the curtain. Does that mean that the effort didn't matter? No. You still learned the material. You still built better work habits.
You still grew as a student. [00:07:00] But if you're only measuring success by the outcome, you're gonna feel like a failure every time. Even if you did make progress, but you didn't achieve the outcome. So then you're gonna just, you know, label yourself as a failure and the whole process of a failure. As a failure.
But we have to focus on the process. you can have an incredible process with an outcome that you didn't expect and you still won.
Alright, so what do we do instead? You focus on effort instead of outcome. An effort based goal focuses on what you're going to do, not what you're hoping will happen. It is about the actions you will take, the habits that you build, the work that you will put into it, the things that you plan to do every single day to make that larger goal happen.
Instead of I wanna get stronger, it's, I'm gonna lift heavy weights for 30 minutes four times a week. Instead of I want to get promoted, it's, I'm gonna have a career development conversation with my manager once a month and take on one stretch project this quarter. Think about it. Let's say that your goal is to get a 4.0 this semester.
Okay? I'm gonna give a, a student facing goal here, but [00:08:00] if you're a working professional, listen to listening to this. You can apply the concepts that I'm talking about to whatever your goal might be. Okay? So you wanna get a 4.0 this semester. That is an outcome based goal, and that's what I'm trying to steer you away from.
All right? So you write down on a piece of paper, um, on January 1st, get a 4.0. Alright? By, you know, the end of the semester in the spring. But what's next? Look, are you just gonna hope for it? If you don't currently have a 4.0, which I'm assuming you don't, because that's your hypothetical new goal, what are you gonna do differently than you did first semester?
You have to do something different. You're gonna end up with not a 4.0. What's the plan there? What actions are you gonna take to make that happen? Real goal setting involves focusing only on steps that you can take that hopefully move you toward a larger goal that hopefully set you off in the direction that you wanna go and that get a 4.0 goal is kind of your, I'd say your North Star, but that's not the goal itself.
An effort based goal says I will use active recall [00:09:00] study methods for every assessment I have this semester. I will review my notes for 15 minutes after every single class, every single day. This semester, I will use space repetition to adequately prepare for my tests most days this semester. I will recognize when I don't understand something and make an effort to get clarification on those concepts within 24 hours all semester long.
I will stay after with my teacher or per my professor twice a week. Right, that's effort. See the difference there, those are the concrete action steps that if you take them, will most likely lead to a 4.0 or at least a better grade than you had in semester one. But you have to make the goal about those actions and not just the vague dream of, you know, a 4.0 landing on your lab.
The effort based goal tells you exactly what to do, and this is important. It's something you can control. You cannot fully control whether you get the A or you get stronger or you get the promotion, but you absolutely can [00:10:00] control whether you review your notes, whether you lift heavy, whether you have those direct conversations with your boss.
The action is your responsibility, and when you focus on the effort, two things happen. First, you are way more likely to actually make progress and ideally reach your goal because you're taking consistent action. And like I said, taking action is literally the only way to accomplish anything ever. And then second, you build confidence and momentum because you're succeeding at what you said you would do, even if the larger outcome isn't achieved yet, or it's taking longer than you maybe thought it would, you're still Doing what you said you're gonna do. If you said you're gonna work out four times a week and you work out four times a week, that is the win. You have met your goal.
And this is what I mean by the anti goal, goal setting strategy. You're still working towards something. You're still aiming at an outcome, but you're measuring success by your effort, what you did, and that's what you can control.
All right, so that's mistake number one. Let's move on to mistake number two, which is [00:11:00] you ignore your true schedule, energy, and life obstacles. , And this is where like a lot of goals kind of die, even if you do set them as effort based goals. Like in strategy number one, you might say, I'm gonna work out five days a week at 5:00 AM or I'm gonna meal prep every single Sunday, or I'm gonna study for two hours every night after dinner.
These are effort based, right? Which is great, but if you're already working 50 hours a week, if you have three kids and you've never in your entire life successfully woken up at 5:00 AM because you go to bed, let's say at midnight, and five hours of sleep is nowhere near sufficient, that goal is dead on arrival.
Okay? Or let's say that you're a student, you decide that second semester you're gonna study three hours every single night to bring up your GPA. Sounds reasonable. Sounds ambitious, right? So, so good. But what about the fact that you're taking five classes, you have sports practice four days a week, maybe five days a week.
You work a part-time job on weekends and you're involved in two clubs. Like when exactly, are [00:12:00] these three hours happening? Are you planning to not eat? Are you planning to not sleep? Because that's literally the only way that the math works out. And we do this all the time. We set goals based on who we wish we were.
Or what an ideal version of our life looks like, not based on our very real actual reality that we are living in this moment. We underestimate how much time things take to do. Head to episode 95, for my best time estimation tips, especially if you have a DHD. Okay. We forget our existing commitments.
We ignore the fact that we have limited energy 'cause we're but mere mortals, right? And that willpower is not some infinite resource that we can just, you know, turn the tap on. And then when we can't keep up with the goal we set, we think that we failed. But we didn't fail. We just set an impossible goal from the start that didn't match the season we were in and our very real time constraints and schedule reality.
All right, so that's a mistake. So what do we do instead? What's the solution? You make sure that the goal is [00:13:00] objectively practical and you have real time to make the effort that you determined in solution number one. Remember, mistake number one was focusing on outcome instead of effort, right? But let's say that you're committing to that change and your new goal is effort based.
Awesome. And you know that you're going to take some kind of specific effort most days of the week to reach your goal. Awesome. You have to know that you have the time, the very real time in your very real calendar to take those actions that you say you're gonna take. This means that you have to look at your actual calendar, not your imaginary calendar, where you have endless free time and you know, boundless energy, your real calendar with all of your very real commitments already on it.
Let's go back to that student example, right? You wanna study better to bring up your grades, bring up your GPA. That's the outcome you're aiming for. And based on mistake number one, you know that you need to set effort based goals, specific actions that you'll take on most days, but before you commit to studying three hours every night, you need to see if that's even [00:14:00] possible. Pull up your calendar. When do classes end? When is practice? When do you work? When do you eat dinner? When do you realistically go to bed because you have, you know, an 8:00 AM class and you need enough sleep. Maybe you realize that three hours every night is absolutely absurd and you wouldn't arrive on that conclusion unless you looked at a calendar and you did the math.
But maybe you can pull off two 90 minutes study blocks on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That sounds reasonable. And maybe two hours on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, right? That's still significant study time, especially if you use all the study strategies that I teach you, but it's based on reality and not fantasy, and that's what makes it work.
Or let's say that you're a professional who wants to start a side project. That is amazing. I am all for that. But let's say you're already working full time, you have family obligations, and you're exhausted by eight o'clock most nights. Don't commit to working on your side project two hours every evening.
That's not happening. That's not real. Maybe it's one hour on Saturday mornings and 30 minutes during lunch on Wednesdays. [00:15:00] All right. That's more realistic. Is that slower process than you'd like? Probably. But it's progress that actually happens instead of a, a goal that makes you feel guilty for not reaching, and then you throw in the towel and you say like, well, forget it.
I'll just wait till January 1st, next year. This is a good spot to send you to episode 85, which is all about using your calendar effectively. If you do not currently have a calendar habit, meaning you're not tracking your time and commitments, you're gonna keep overcommitting, you are gonna keep setting goals that don't fit your life.
Right. So if this is resonating with you, go listen to that episode after this one. The link is in the show notes and in the description box. And then of course, you guys know this at this point, inside School Habits University, I have an entire time management module where I deep dive into managing your time and tracking what you do and don't have time for so that you can make time for the right things.
The point is this, though your goal has to fit your real life, not the life that you wish you had, the life that you have right now. With all its constraints and commitments and [00:16:00] chaos, and if your life changes, you can change your plan. That's awesome. That's what we should do. We need to evolve. But when you make the goal right outta the gate, it needs to align with the life that you have, the day that you make that goal.
All right, so that was mistake number two. Let's get to mistake number three. Mistake number three is that you wait for the perfect moment to start.
And this is the big one when it comes to New Year's resolution, specifically, right? We tell ourselves that we're gonna start on January 1st, fresh year, fresh start, new Year, new you, right?
It feels motivating, it feels symbolic, but what happens when January 1st comes and you're tired from New Year's Eve? Or you're traveling or you're sick, or life is just bananas because it's, you know, a, a break in between that weird purgatory of like, work and school is off and you don't even know what time of day is, right.
You tell yourself, okay, well maybe I'll just start on January 2nd, or maybe Monday, January 5th because as a, a better fresh start anyway. But then something comes up that week and before you know it, it's February and you haven't even started at all. Or worse, you do start on January 1st with [00:17:00] this huge ambitious plan, and by January 10th you've already missed a few days 'cause life happened, which it will.
And now you think, well, I already messed up, so I might as well just, you know, wait until next Monday or next month or next year. We act like certain dates have magical powers. January 1st, first day of the semester, your birthday Monday. These dates feel significant, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
The fresh start effect is real and I abs I personally think it can be motivating, but it also gives us permission to procrastinate. If you decide on December 15th that you wanna start studying differently or working out differently or working on a a side project, why are you waiting two weeks until the new year to start?
Like literally, what is gonna be different on January 1st from now? Like to start now? You are gonna have the same schedule, you're gonna have the same obstacles, the same life. Listen, there's no perfect time to start. We have to stop waiting for that. Why not literally start right now? Because it's [00:18:00] hard.
Okay. Well it's gonna be hard on January 1st too, right? It's always hard to start. It's hard to start new things. It's hard to admit like, oh, that the way things are going aren't so great. So I'm gonna make a new goal to make things different. That's hard. Alright? Getting up and doing that day one thing, that's all hard.
But doing it on January 1st instead of today doesn't make it any easier. It's gonna be just as hard then. So get up and do it. Tough love. All right. But maybe Monday. Okay, let me, let me backtrack a little bit. Like maybe you do need to get your ducks in a row first, depending on, you know, the goal that you set. Okay? Then get your ducks in a row first. But give yourself a limited time to get your ducks in a row and to prepare and get the materials that you might need, and to sign up for the gym membership and to figure out what you know, your new side project is gonna be, and get the tools for it or whatever, but then get to work, right?
Do it, do it tomorrow. Do it within the next week. The date on the calendar doesn't matter nearly as much as we think it does. But let's talk a little bit about why we do this. Like psychologically, why do we give January 1st so much power? [00:19:00] Because it feels clean. It feels like a reset button. And psychologically, we love the idea of a fresh start where our past mistakes don't count anymore and it's gonna be a new version.
I'm gonna do everything different. Everything's gonna be better. But January 1st is literally just another day, like the Earth completed another rotation around the sun. That's it. There is nothing inherently transformative about it. Your brain doesn't suddenly have more willpower on January 1st than it did on December 30th.
Your schedule doesn't magically open up. Your obstacles don't magically disappear on the new year. The only thing that changes is the number on the calendar, and we have convinced ourselves that that means something. So what do we do instead? Well, we rethink our starting point by asking yourself one question, does the timing on this goal actually matter?
So for some goals, timing is irrelevant. I would say for most goals it's irrelevant. If you wanna start a daily journaling practice or begin lifting weights or learn a new software skill, it doesn't matter if it's January, July or October, [00:20:00] there's no reason to wait. So start now, start Monday. Start whenever you can realistically begin taking those effort based actions that we talked about in solution number one.
But for other goals, I get it. Timing does matter, and this is where you need to think about the season of life that you're in, not the weather season, but your actual life circumstances. If you're a student on winter break and you wanna build a new study routine, starting on December 20th when you're not even in classes, doesn't make sense.
You can't practice the habit that you're trying to build. So wait until the semester starts. That's your logical starting point. If you're in the middle of a huge work project that's consuming all of your energy and you wanna start a side business, maybe now isn't the time. Maybe you wait until that project wraps up in March.
That isn't procrastination. Okay? I'm being honest here. Like I'm, I'm giving you permission to wait. It's not procrastination if you're intentional about it, that is being realistic about your capacity. If you just had a baby and you wanna train for a marathon, cool. But maybe give yourself a few months to adjust to the new reality of [00:21:00] your life before adding in that goal.
The question isn't, is January 1st the right time? Mm-hmm. The question is, given everything going on in my very real life right now, when does it make sense to start taking consistent action toward this goal? That's the question. And if the answer is the timing doesn't really matter, start now. Like literally today.
Hang up this, not hang up. Shut off this podcast. Start the darn goal. Maybe Monday. Alright. But whenever you finish listening to this episode, don't wait for January 1st. Just 'cause it feels symbolic. And if the answer though is I need to wait to start this goal until X happens, make sure that that's a real constraint and not just an excuse.
Make sure you're not using. Bad timing, right? Is a way to avoid starting altogether. 'cause we can always justify why we need to wait. But like, check yourself a little metacognition here, A little self-awareness. Is your excuse really an excuse or is it legitimate? Here's the final piece too. Once you do start, [00:22:00] whether it's January 1st or March 15th, or some random Tuesday in, you know, October, and you miss a day or a week, you don't have to wait for another perfect starting point to begin again.
You just begin again. Like it's that simple. You, you start something and you have a goal and you're doing well, and then you fall off the bandwagon. What's the, what's the big deal to start again? We have so many emotions over like, well, I stopped and might as well as throw the towel all together. No, just start again.
Like, I'm trying not to yell into my microphone. Okay. Progress has nothing to do with perfect timing. It has everything to do with starting and then continuing to take that action even when you don't want to, and even when it gets messy and even when you accidentally stop or life got in the way, or you forgot about it, and you just start again. Stop waiting for the perfect moment.
You don't need permission from a random calendar date. Look at your actual life right now. Ask yourself if timing matters for this [00:23:00] particular goal, and then pick a day that makes sense and begin. Take the effort based actions that you mapped out, the ones that fit your life, your real life, not the one that you know you hope you have, the ones that you can control. Action is the only magic that exists. So that's what you have to do, and you don't need to wait until January 1st to do it. All right, let's bring this all together. We covered three massive mistakes people make when setting goals, especially around the new year.
Mistake number one is focusing on outcomes instead of effort. And the fix is to set effort based goals, which are concrete actions that you can control. Mistake number two, ignoring your real schedule, energy and obstacles. The fix is to make sure that your goals fit your actual life and not some fantasy version of it.
And then mistake number three, waiting for the perfect moment to start. And the fix the solution is to ask yourself if timing actually matters for this goal. And if it doesn't, if it truly, [00:24:00] honestly, genuinely doesn't start. Now, this is the Antigo goal setting strategy. You're still aiming at something. You still have that North Star outcome that you're working toward, but you're measuring success by your effort.
And making sure that effort fits your real life and starting when it makes sense to you, not when the calendar tells you to. And I wanna make this really clear, 'cause I think it's probably the most important thing I can say in this episode: hoping for an outcome without putting an effort that is nonsense.
We call that wishing like there's a name for it. It's called wishing. But putting an effort without a guaranteed outcome. That's reality. That's how life works. And if you judge yourself only by whether you hit that outcome, that is a fast track to burnout and feeling like you're never good enough. Ask me how I know.
But focusing on your effort while still aiming at that outcome, still aiming [00:25:00] at that north star. That's how real progress actually truly factually works. And that's the framework that creates the real change that you're looking for. And I wanna leave you with this, which is something that I mentioned earlier from episode 54.
That action is the closest thing we have to magic. I've said this a thousand times already on this episode, but it is so true. Nothing changes without action. All of the planning and hoping, and wishing and resolution making in the world will never, ever, ever move the needle if you don't actually take action.
If you don't actually do something. And if you're struggling to take action because you keep telling yourself stories about who you are, like, I'm just not a morning person, or I'm bad at staying consistent, go listen to episode 47 about how to really change a habit. I get some nitty gritty strategies in there, because sometimes the first action you need to take is changing the story you tell yourself about what you're capable of.
So pick one effort based goal. [00:26:00] Make sure it fits your schedule. Ask yourself if timing matters and if it doesn't start today or Monday or whenever makes sense for you, but you gotta start in January 1st is completely arbitrary. If you found this helpful, I would love for you to share it with someone who might need to hear it.
And if you want more support with your study systems, time management, executive function skills, checkout SchoolHabits university, and all of my other resources. Everything is always linked in the show notes. Thank you so much for your time. Keep showing up. Keep doing the hard work, keep asking the hard questions, and never stop learning.
